Brandi’s Martial Arts Bio

贝懋资自的武术传记

Everyone asks little kids what they want to be when they grow up. Sure, there were times when I said things like helicopter pilot but I still remember the reactions when, for quite a while, I was replying with “hermit”. How will you live? Alone in the forest of course. How will you get money? I’ll make pickles and sell them at a market. Won’t you be lonely? No. 

I don’t think there is anything remarkable about my life story but I do think there are signs of some kind of predestination or affinity if you’re willing to entertain that possibility; in Daoism we call it yuan fen 缘分.

I come from a family of female healers. It’s in my blood. Massage therapists, reiki practitioners, a physiotherapist, and others. I thought I would be a healer too; I studied Holistic Healing in college, and immediately started working with clients upon graduation. Unfortunately, it didn’t even take a year before I grew frustrated with my clients and with the process because in my eyes they would come to me for help looking for me to fix them, not follow any advice I gave them around self care or lifestyle changes, wait until they were in agony to come back and see me, and the cycle would start all over again. I’d envisioned it being so much more collaborative, with myself as a guide, not a fixer.

I started learning kung fu with my mom and my sister at the age of 14. The community at our school (Silent River Kung Fu) was supportive and kind. It was a great atmosphere and I’m happy there are places like that in the world where people can grow in a safe and empowering way. I’m very thankful to the instructors and fellow students of Silent River Kung fu for giving me a space to expand and thrive. I kept training throughout college and young adulthood, eventually earning my black belt, when one day, a friend returned from a long trip to China and Nepal, and he was changed. I wanted to know what he’d learned, where he’d been, to have such a dramatic jump in skill and understanding. He told me about Shifu Yuan’s school in the Wudang mountains and I decided to go. I invited my sister and we started planning, saved money and trained like crazy in preparation for the trip. 

The plan was to take a 4 month kung fu vacation of sorts. It was an attempt to live out the fantasy of “travel to the mystic orient” and learn the secret kung fu skills, just like the plot in a cheesy movie. When we arrived at the school, we joined the “free” class, a class for foreigners coming and going at random times, staying for whatever length of time. At that time, the school was buzzing with the news of something coming up; Master Yuan was going to run a class the following year for foreign students to go through 3-5 years of training in the traditional manner, learning the entire Wudang curriculum.  We gave it a lot of thought and decided to go home, borrow and save up as much as we could and enroll in that class. Call it coincidence, good timing, or destiny, we were on the path now. 

Getting through those 5 years was a tremendous struggle. Training at the Wudang Traditional Kung Fu Academy was very different from what I was used to. We trained all day 6 days/week, while trying to learn the language and adapt to a different level of comfort. I kept a journal during that time http://easternshruggery.blogspot.com/  You can read all about my experience there but here is  a random quote that I found while scrolling through it:

“ I am not the fastest, the strongest, or even the cleverest, but I am still here “

I still look back and wonder how I managed to persevere. Although obviously, it was physically exhausting to deal with over-training, injuries, etc, the biggest challenge was mental. Our evening meditations kept me sane by providing me with time and space to rest my body and calm my mind. One type of Daoist meditation is called ‘Sitting and Forgetting” or zuo wang  坐忘 and it’s an excellent help in challenging times. Another way I coped was by learning to draw in Chinese ink and brush style. I found a teacher, Bi Lao Shi 筆老師 who taught calligraphy and painting and each week I would walk to his apartment to learn landscape painting. I never considered myself much of an artist until then, but it really spoke to me and it became yet another way to connect with Dao.

I continue to study Daoism, practice martial arts, and make artwork; primarily landscapes or objects found in nature.

A concept within Daoism which interests me is ‘free and easy wandering’ 逍遥游 popularized by the philosopher Zhuangzi (Chuang tzu). This could literally mean physically wandering and exploring new places or it could mean approaching anything in life with an attitude of lighthearted curiosity and ease.

If I didn’t have those painting classes, or the support of my sister-Mel, or Simon with me through it all, I doubt I would have made it through all 5 years at the kung fu school. Yet, I grew so much and I continue to find deep meaning, wisdom, and plenty of laughs buried within the memories. In my time there I found my place in a lineage of Daoist hermits and I stumbled upon a lifestyle, a healing practice, and a purpose. 

"The wise men of old were masters of meditation and one with the One.

Unfathomable was their depth, incomprehensible their greatness.

Without attracting attention they acted out of their stillness.

They walked cautiously as though wading through a swollen river.

They were watchful as though it were important not to hurt anyone

reserved like guests from foreign lands

Yielding like snow in the sun

Inconspicuous like uncut wood

Willing and open like a deep valley

And yet obscure and inscrutable like troubled waters ....

Who can clear muddiness and lighten up darkness?

One who in the stillness and the silence clears and illumines itself.

And who can quicken the dregs without stirring them?

The Tao-united [person] who has emptied himself by letting-go.

Because he has become selfless he bestows life.

He no longer awaits the coming of fullness who has attained perfection."

-  Translated by K. O. Schmidt, Chapter 15 Daodejing